I woke this morning feeling like i had a huge hangover. this damn cage was spinning like one fo those amusement park rides. It wouldn’t stop. I sat here for about 20 minutes. When it did i drank a little water and felt like i could vomit. I have to sip the water now; my stomach can’t process a ton of it at once. So i’ll be keeping a cup at hand, sipping all day.

You know i was thinking, someone needs to start a campaign against the medical and psych departments here and in all SHUs. How can they claim to be caring about another human being’s welfare and well-being and then work and condone this torture? It’s been documented a million times over that this is sensory deprivation and torture. The effects are documented and scientific. It reminds me of the situation a few years ago with the psych association of amerika supporting the U.S. treatment and interrogations of ‘enemy combatants’ in Abu Bharib and gitmo. Someone, a group of someones need to push the line and draw the juxtaposition out for the public to see.

Alight I’m out. Be God to (Yes God!) one another!

However, it’s 7:30 pm now. The coordinators went to the meeting and stayed for about 2 hours. When they came back, from the tone of their voices, i could tell it wasn’t very positive or progressive. Of course, i’m speaking from having used deduction and reason, based on hearing faint sounds and tones of voice. So i can’t honestly say, but i believe it to have been a mildly progressive meeting at best.

Unfortunately, a few guys have had to go to the hospital due to low blood sugar. The lcoal news reported a few guys have gone into commas. Word is, the Chief Medical Officer ordered the medical staff to stop all medicatoins for anyone on hunger strike, because they aren’t eating and as you know meds should be taken with food. It’s a game. You can’t even get an aspirin if you’re on strike. They’re coming by every couple of days to take our vitals – weight, blood pressure, look at your tongue – that’s it. They were supposed to do blood tests and finger pricks to check blood sugar levels, but never did. So, it’s a wait and see thing as of now.

But, like i said, i’m great. Moving around slowly, and just using the time to meditate and focus on where i’m not, and why i’m not accomplishing certain things.

I used to have to fight and damn near pass out just to get a check. Then you go see a doctor. He does all the doctor stuff, plays concerned, tells you with exaggerated emphasis of how you’re gonna die and what not – yet they silently condone the civil death the state puts us through. It’s b.s.

After that it’s back to the cage. They’re really just generating paperwork to appear as if they’re doing a great job.

On Monday, some suits from Sacramento came and pulled the coordinators for each ethnic group out. They told the Comrade Mutope they weren’t here to negotiate, but to investigate and talk. Of course, he and the others left out of there in a hurry. So they’re playing games. They intend to drag this out until some of us die! Well so be it! It’s not about the length of life, but the quality!! This ain’t livin’ you know?

I’m great. Energy level is up. Woke up a little sore. The lower back pains are starting. There’s just a dull, consistent push now. Nothing major. It’s been a little difficult to concentrate on my reading and writing, but I’m good. Hunger’s not an issue.

You know, we found out the scale they used when the did the medical stuff here Thursday was way off. It had us all believing we’d lost a ton of weight. I thought i’d lost 20 lbs since the first. That kinda had me worried. That’s too much too fast. But Kaidi went to medical yesterday to the real scale and he’d only lost about 6 or 8 lbs. So we know now the little one was crap. It may have been on purpose. Because people will panic when they hear they dropped 20 lbs in 6 days. Then they start in with all the death talk. It adds up in a guy’s mind, you know?

Man, I’m so so so tired of drinking water and pissing. It’s starting to make me feel like i have to vomit when i drink it. There’s this awful foul taste in my mouth that won’t go away either. I know, it’s from the water. The more you drink, the more dehydrated you feel. They use a ton of chlorine in our water – so much that it turns your clothes blue when you let the water run on them. It can’t be good to drink so much!

They had the Chaplain come by; i didn’t know who he was. I asked him about being baptized – what was the process and procedure for someone in SHU. He told me without blinking an eye, “You can forget it; it’s not gonna happen while you in SHU.” I said of course it will happen. He said “No it won’t!” i said how can you say that; don’t you believe in God? Are you trying to tell me man’s will overrides God’s will? He came back with, “Well i think God’s will is for you to be in here,” with the nastiest smirk on his face.

All the racist pigs came out!! That’s what people don’t get – the level of humanity we’re denied back here. For nothing. We’re not here (in SHU) like most SHU inmates, with a certain amount of time to do, for breaking a rule or something. This is it. The administration has said they are not letting us out of SHU, period. We can debrief (snitch), die or parole. Those are our options. Why can’t i be baptized? What have i done wrong? Nothing. So why am i being denied any of hte rights and privileges of any other convict?? That is the issue! Anyhow, another day down. Please, if you haven’t already, call, write, cuss, fight and sign the petition in support!

Well they locked us down at about 10:30 or 11:00. They came by and began taking us all out pod by pod. They set up a medical clinic between the unit and hallway. They’d come into the pod, ask if you wanted to see the nurse, cuff you, escort you out into the rotunda, have you face the wall of course, two c.o.s holding your cuffed arms) where you jioned the cattle line. We stood there for a few minutes, then as you exit the unit there was a psych station set up in the counsellor’s office. The psych lady, Dr. Rich, would ask a few silly questions: “Do you know what day it is?” “Spell ‘world’ backwards”and make small talk to gauge your sanity i guess. Although i don’t see how some who call themselves a psychologist and claim to care for the welfare of other human beings, yet works for an administration and system that is in the business of crushing human beings, spiritaully, mentally and physically, can be considered able to guage anything, especially someone else’s sanity! That’s just me though.

Anyhow, after that we went out of the unit into the hall. We were either escorted to the left or right. Two cops pulled at our arms. There was a tape on the wall to mark your height. I’m 6’2 and my weight was down to 168 lbs (it was 189 on day 1). Then to our left was a small table with paper and a doctor and nurse. They tried to scare you with stories about how you’ll die if you don’t eat. Then it was back to the cage. I was over stimulated; the sensory overload wore me out. There was a ton of noise, movement and questions. You know, for 10, 20, 30 years none of us have been around more than 2 or 3 other people at once. So my senses were going crazy. Like Spiderman in Subway!!

Other than that, it’s al good.

The coordinators did get called out for lawyer visits. I’m hoping we’ll hear something from them soon.

You wouldn’t believe it, but they are only a pod or two away, less than 100 yards or so – in the same unit! And we go months without seeing or hearing from each other. People out there really don’t get how oppressed we are. Imagine being locked in your little ass bathroom 22 1/2 hours a day. Say you live in an apartment building – as many of you do. Now imagine ALL your neighbors being locked in their bathrooms also 22 1/2 hours a day. Out of the almost 52 (there’s about 52 of us in this unit D-1) of you in the building, you’ll have access to talk to maybe 1 other person, by pressing your ear up against the bathroom wall or door. You’ll never see this person in person – unless by a fluke you’re both being escorted to medical at the same time. If you’re lucky, you have a vent in your bathroom, and it’s hooked-up with the vents int he other apartment captives cells (oh i mean bathrooms) – and you’ll be able to stand on the sink, and toilet, like you’re straddling two pylons above shark-infested waters, and talk to the other bathroom captives, at least until your back burns with a furious pain, and your neck cramps and stiffens. Now imagine 10, 15, 20, 30, 40+ years of this and worse. I know, it’s unfathomable! But it exists, right here in California, paid for with your tax dollars.

Oh, don’t forget – you were never sentenced by any court of law to this treatment. The landlord just decided one day to lock you in the building because he heard from ‘reliable sources’ you were organizing the other tenants to protest their slumlord b.s.

Anyhow, as i said it’ll be a couple days before we get any word, if the lawyers had any news. The administration is still holding out – attrition is the name of the game. Remember, it’s not how long you live, but how well.

Did hear via the grapevine that 2500 throughout the California prison system are on hunger strike – we need your support!

Love and loyalty.

Love and loyalty

Love and loyalty.